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INFJs are generally peaceful folk who don’t like confrontation and aren’t trying to intimidate anyone (even though the whole “good little INFJ” thing is mostly a myth).

Here are three ways that INFJs can come across as intimidating when they don’t mean to.

In working with dozens of business owners, I’ve realized that intimidation is a common problem amongst them.

In the six years or so since this conversation, I’ve sold my businesses and become a coach to other entrepreneurs.

Being called intimidating can come as a shock, and due to its deleterious effects, is not desirable. We’re not physically aggressive, but we can be forceful in pursuing our goals — that’s what often makes us successful.

However, the intimidation that employees feel in an otherwise positive climate is almost never caused by overt aggressiveness at the hands of a business owner or manager.

Also, INFJs are a curious mixture of seemingly contradictory things and we’re hard for people to put into neat boxes.

Some people find this fascinating, but others find it off-putting.

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It can also be a good idea for INFJs to work on learning when and how to share our insights about other people so they don’t feel creeped out by us.

INFJs lead with Introverted Intuition, which is basically advanced pattern recognition.

That’s coupled with Extroverted Feeling, which picks up on what’s going on with other people.

Not long after, this man described me as intimidating in a conversation with my father.

He said that I was too well-educated and too deep thinking for any man in our church to want to marry me.

Now, he probably would have described any woman who talked about an academic project like that as intimidating, but I still think the example works.

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