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Maybe that would have meant they’d given up on me, that they’d stopped viewing me as a not-yet-married girl but as an unmarriageable woman who’d ruined her youth by being too choosy and strong-headed. This way, the aunties can still swing by the kids’ table as I’m sucking on a Pepsi and chucking a young cousin on the chin, and ask me, When are you getting married? (I was under the impression her hobbies were more along the lines of trance music and international politics.) Though she’s long favored pubgoing blokes, Divya, like me, doesn’t discount the possibility that the urologist from Trivandrum or the IT guy could just be the onean idea patently unthinkable to us in our twenties.It’s become second nature for women like us to straddle the two dating worlds.My father kept telling me he wanted it all wrapped up by Februaryit was only Christmas!
A 44-year-old Jewish doctor managed to make my dad’s first cut: He was a doctor.hat’s not to say I haven’t come to appreciate what Indian men have to offer, which is a type of seriousness, a clarity of intent.I’ve never heard from an Indian man the New York beg-off phrase I don’t think I’m ready for a relationship right now. Indian men also seem to share my belief that Westerners have made the progression toward marriage unnecessarily agonizing.Back for a break in New York, Sameer kindly came to see me in Brooklyn.
We went to a French bistro, where he leaned over the table and said, You know, your father really shouldn’t send out those photos of you. Sameer was generous, good-natured, engaging, seemingly besotted with me, on an expat salaryand also on the Atkins diet to lose 50 pounds. In this, I guess I am like every other woman in New York, complaining a man is too ambitious or not ambitious enough, too eager or not eager enough. These men, in their bid to fit in on Wall Street or on the golf course, would like a wife who is eminently presentableto their boss, friends, and family.
By now I certainly think that would be enough time for me.
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