Dating someone going through a divorce with kids
You had too much going on during your divorce to possibly consider dating. This same script, I’m reminded, played out in the life of one of my favorite clients who fell in love with a separated man.Therefore, you seem to think all men should feel the same way. But you are correct in proceeding with a sense of caution. Not because he listed himself as divorced but is really separated. He gave a lot to her during their time together, but, when it got right down to it, he really needed to sow his oats for awhile.Currently, I am using online dating to meet new prospects, though I choose not to date anyone who is going through divorce.I am divorced and have been for two years and am of the opinion that there is too much other stuff going on in one’s life during a divorce to date, as well.Because he’s getting divorced, he’s still legally, financially and emotionally completing his relationship with his ex.Moving in with him over-involves you in his life and makes it impossible to set healthy boundaries.Because mental health professionals consider divorce one of life's most stressful events, dating a man who’s in the midst of divorcing can be extremely challenging.During a divorce, a man must face a host of issues: dealing with his ex, taking care of any children, court appearances, the costs of divorce, not to mention his own grieving process.
The real concern was whether this guy needed time and space after the demise of his marriage. Here are the three points I’d like you to take away from this blog post: A person who hides his separation online isn’t necessarily a bad person.To keep the relationship -- and yourself -- healthy, it’s important to set boundaries when dating a man going through divorce.Just because a man has separated from his wife doesn’t mean he’s getting divorced.For your relationship to work, he must demonstrate that he’s serious about the divorce by filing the necessary papers, separating finances and property, and moving forward with the divorce process.
If he hasn’t, he probably isn’t ready to divorce, which means he isn’t ready for a new relationship.
If he has children, it is likely best to put off meeting them.