Dating a perfectionist
Anxiety, particularly for women, works against the process of arousal.
“There have been studies in which men and women were put into f MRI machines and asked to masturbate to orgasm,” Kerner explained.
Easier said than done, for sure, but doing so provides a balanced and healthy perspective of who you are.
The best antidote for feelings of failure is the vow to grow and learn from mistakes.
Is that girl going to feel great ripping off her clothes, having hot, passionate, dirty sex?
” Of course, in a perfect world, a woman’s partner would never make her feel bad about her appearance.
“Oftentimes when [partners] make these statements, the way women internalize it is, ‘I’m not good enough, I’m not pretty enough, I’m not sexy enough,’” Sussman said.
When Meredith* first started having sex her freshman year of college, she was insecure and naive, afraid she’d get dumped if each encounter wasn’t absolutely perfect for her partner.
This level of perfectionism can cause a phenomenon known as spectatoring, in which a person feels as though they’re watching themselves have sex, and spends the entire time concerned about their performance.