Being so accommodating
There was not time to do any real college work, when I had finished making a living and tending to everybody’s odd jobs.
I take this to be one of the truest quandries today: the social requirement to party frequently for the sake of a good "college experience" leads to no "equipment for success" nor much "time to do any real college work".
Rather than accomplishing things for other people, he turned his efforts toward enabling them to accomplish things for themselves.
I agree with you in that I hope people don't get the idea that they need to be coldhearted or uncaring, but rather they need to put themselves and all that entails (family, career) first and if there's room left over then decide what is important enough to give your time to.
Three things were very clear to me in that night of self-examination five years ago.
First: A man’s chief loyalty must be to the woman who has joined her life to his; to the children who call him father; and to the business which feeds and clothes and houses them all.
I hope this is not trite or cliche, but his description about that balance (specifically the line "People never trust an accommodating man with important things") called to mind "If" by Kipling."If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue, Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch"Quite a difficult line to toe, being gracious and helpful when necessary, but saying "no" enough to keep up that accessibility to "important" things.
It was a pretty good read, it has a great message and is always enjoyable to read articles from a time when journalism had a certain feel and flair to it rather than just delivering a message. I thought that the following message summed up the article quite nicely ..
A subreddit for really great, insightful articles and discussion.Borrowing money from somebody outside of immediate family or very close friends, asking some random salesman to help decorate the windows, asking for theater tickets from a salesman who hooked up your brother a year ago, those would be very weird things.