100 dating for big people
Dating a plus size person is hard because being a plus size person is hard.
Size discrimination runs rampant, and it affects everything from healthcare to employment to media to the size of seats on public transportation to the self esteem of individuals.
I think the reason I — and many fat women I know — have encountered a plethora of dudes ashamed of admitting their attraction to us is because they don't believe they are allowed to do so without being ridiculed.
I think it's why some will describe dating as a plus size woman to be "more of an exercise in patience and frustration than it is one in romance." Li tells me, "Large people have the same needs and desires for positive attention and love [as] thin people," but to a lot of people, that doesn't seem obvious yet.
And so I cannot help but feel that the problem some folks are having isn't with the over-sexualization of fat people, and specifically fat women.
But rather, with the sexualization of a group of people we're not used to being told are, in fact, sexual beings (unless they're being branded as "promiscuous" or "desperate," that is).
A couple of years ago, I decided I'd never date anyone else who was interested in me "despite" or "regardless of" my body.
After years of humans who — no matter how kind or clever or fun they were otherwise — always seemed to have the kind of superiority complex that told them that, deep down, they were doing me a favor by dating a fat girl, I was over it.
We wouldn't need an "app for plus size singles and admirers to find their matches," as noted on the app's i Tunes landing page, or for "big beautiful women (BBW), big handsome men (BHM), fat admirers, chubby girl[s], Dadbod[s], curvy women, thick women, and everything in between," because the notion that fat bodies are as desirable as any other body type, in that some people find them desirable and some don't, would be understood — and not just by fat people themselves, but by all people. Refinery29's Liz Black took note of the app's "condescending ads," tweeting, "Like a plus size woman would be shocked a man thinks she's hot."Blogger Callie Thorpe of From The Corners Of The Curve told ASOS, "It feels that instead of addressing the way plus size women are treated in society — and most certainly on the dating scene — we are having to further separate them."In the same article, curve model Felicity Hayward said, "To then make a separate dating app for bigger girls is a completely backwards step.
However, a site for plus size dating doesn't have to be about "fetishism," if that's a term one is uncomfortable with.